Enneagram relationship Profiles
Growing Relationships:
Enneagram type Six (the Loyalist) (Rev.Purrv)
with
Enneagram type nine (the Peacemaker) (Miss.Ember)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
This is one of the most stable and most common relationships. Although
both types are very different, they want rather similar things—security
and predictability (Sixes) and stability
and autonomy (Nines). They both want
their lives to be built on solid, dependable values and for good,
honest work to be rewarded. Both types tend to personify "middle
of the road" values in their time and culture, to be dutiful, respectful
of authority, and to abide by the rule of law. On the other hand,
there is a rebellious streak in Sixes and a counterculture streak
in Nines that allows some of these couples to live on the fringes
of society, to be unusual in their lifestyle and beliefs, to be
free thinkers and unconcerned about conventional values and mores.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Since Sixes and Nines find it very difficult to say what is actually
on their minds (and what they really want for themselves), there is
a great tendency in this relationship to clam up, to be silently stubborn
and defensive, and to make the other person guess what is going on.
If there is little motive to do so, the two parties will fall into
a stalemate that keeps the other at arm's distance, yet close enough
so that the other will not drift away. They may also begin to have
health problems or other nonspecific complaints about themselves that
seeks to bind the couple in cords of concern and guilt. Psychological
or physical problems help to insure that the other person will continue
to be there. Moreover,while these two types fulfill social roles very well, they both tend to disappear in their roles too completely for their own good. Sixes are
frequently burdened by guilt feelings and doggedly do whatever they
think they must do to keep their job or their security in place. They
try to make sure that they have covered the bases so that no one will
be angry at them for failing in their responsibility. Nines also
fulfill roles, but these usually have to do with mediating between
people to keep them together in some way. They accommodate themselves
and go along with what others need even as their own stress grows.
Another potential problem is that both types love the familiar and dislike change. The feeling is that familiarity equals security, which is
reinforced by the conviction that they must not rock the boat. Both
types will tend to put off confrontations until they are pushed to the
limit, although Sixes have a shorter fuse concerning their anger. They
will either give up on the Nine, or there will be an explosion in which
a backlog of pent up hostilities will be said, often to the permanent
damage of the relationship.
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